Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
