my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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