I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
