'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have already put on my inside pants.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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