my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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