just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
