The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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