I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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