woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
