Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
