do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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