it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That accounts for only three of the penises
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize