"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
