can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I understand Curling. That high.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
