If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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