He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
