so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
