Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I still have a little drunk in my system
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
