I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
