I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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