i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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