On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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