Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
