Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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