batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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