my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You are the jesus of drinking
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
