There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize