There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
