i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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