Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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