Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
