i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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