Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
