Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
