I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize