you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
