I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
