You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
MIDGETS
????
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
