come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
