I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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