possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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