Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
