i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woke up backwards on a recliner
COCAINE IS GR8
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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