i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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