So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
