people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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