i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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