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this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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