oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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