And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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