My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
