What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
