The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
