the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They are going to name an STD after you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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