it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
