If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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