even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
