escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
