We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize