all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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