Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
