After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i barfeds in our rink
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
