I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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