I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
