She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
